Dear Isabelle Kerr,
Being part of the generation responsible for these slang terms, I am happy that the words “Twerking,” “Selfie” and “Unlike” have been added to the Online Oxford Dictionaries. This is because these words are a product of the evolution of society and acceptance of new ideas and concepts.
I disagree with most of the points you have made in your article because I don’t believe they are a fair refreflection of what is happening at the moment. You said “The future of the English language looks bleak.” I strongly disagree with this statement because I believe the future of the English language is to be filled with many new words, much like selfie and twerking, that show our generation in a new light. The points made in your article are biased and negative because you didn’t take into consideration any of the positive aspects of this situation. You didn’t think about our generation showing that there is power in numbers and that the dictionary publishers think highly of these words and believe they’re of high enough status to go into their dictionary. It also shows that our generation have found new ways to express themselves, and have been able to globalise them. This also proves our generation is as innovative as the previous generations, but is more powerful and has more authority than the previous generations.
The dictionary publishers themselves obviously think the status of these words justify their place in the most prestigious dictionary in the country. They believe that a great part of the English language comes from the youth and that the major words produced by the youth deserve to be in the dictionary.You also had an issue with the new additions to the dictionary being “Mostly related to image, reputation and sex.” In my opinion these new additions are related to image but I don’t see it as a bad thing. A selfie is your image and is an innovative way to express yourself and clearly people enjoy it as it’s become an international trend. In addition, as trends change, technology has to adapt to suit the trends. For example, the inclusion of a front camera on most smartphones made for selfies. It’s not as if it’s only young people and technology that are adapting to new trends. The older generations are also on social networks and may feel obliged to join in the taking of selfies and some do so happily and frequently.
You also said the “wrong impression” is given out and I don’t think it is. I understand why twerking can be seen as a negative thing but others, especially those who do it would disagree. One thing I agree with is that these words are a “fashion trend” but at the same time are more than that. They can be described as a phenomena that are yet to achieve their full potential. These words won’t just come and go like other trends because these words are used internationally used and have greatly affected people’s lives. For example, there are people that make a living from twerking and in fact a woman called Jessica Vanessa makes a 6 figure salary from it. I also believe the new additions make the dictionary more interesting because there are no other words like them. They give the dictionary more variation and people a wider range of vocabulary to use.
In conclusion I believe that the inclusion of the words “Twerking,” “Selfie” and “Unlike” to the Oxford Online Dictionaries just prove that our generation are strong and influential and that this is only the beginning of something bigger. This generation are able to express themselves in many ways and will continue to do so and have global effect. The world and the people in it are changing and the English language has to adapt to the the new trends arising. The future of the English language looks bright and I hope it continues to grow in the way it has been.
Yours truthfully Andre.
January 2, 2015 at 4:03 pm
Andre, your response to the article is refreshing. You have picked out many of the key points made within the article and communicated your own point of view on the topic at hand.
At times, though, you miss opportunities to expand on your counter-arguments. For example, ‘The points made in your article are biased and negative because you didn’t take into consideration any of the positive aspects of this situation’. You should have ago at outlining some of these points before moving on.
I think you may want to have a go at using some more ambitious vocabulary. Look at words that you repeatedly use throughout your response and have a go at using some synonyms.
Finally, I think the main thrust of the original article suggests that slang isn’t a bad thing but that the inclusion of these words in the English dictionary is degrading the sanctity of our language. The terms come and go as trends pass and therefore shouldn’t remain fixed. I think your counter argument to this point may need to be more prevalent in your work.
Very strong first draft, Andre. Good stuff.
January 6, 2015 at 1:58 am
I’ve done what I can to improve it
January 8, 2015 at 9:44 pm
Andre, very well done. This is shaping up to be a very strong piece of coursework.
To push your work further, you need to ensure that all of your spellings are correct (I can see at least one that isn’t).
There are also a couple of instances where the mature, formal tone slips somewhat. For example: ‘A selfie is your image and is an innovative way to express yourself and clearly people enjoy it as it’s become an international trend.’ I think some of your expression breaks the successful tone you create throughout the majority.
Check your sentences for repeated words, such as ‘ For example, there are people that make a living from TWERKING and in fact a woman called Jessica Vanessa makes a 6 figure salary from TWERKING’.
Some of your sentences are also too long.
You could also try to use a greater range of punctuation for effect (don’t overdo it though!)
I would currently award this work:
Writing: 33/40 (B)
Reading: 8/10 (B)
February 6, 2015 at 7:49 am
Andre, in order for this piece to achieve a solid band 2, you should try to develop the originality of the piece. Take a look at Kai’s as an example of how to achieve this.
It must also be longer.